Mementos That Matter: An Archive of Trans-Affirming Objects

Elliot S. | Non-binary, They/Them | 

My object is very simple, a Post-it note with my name on it, but it means the world to me. This is a note that my dad used to label my lunch in the fridge, but that’s not why it’s special. This note is from 2021 – after I came out as nonbinary – and it is the first time that my dad used my chosen name for me. My parents are super supportive of me now, but when I first came out, it was hard for them to understand my nonbinary identity. This note marks the first step forward in their journey of acceptance. I chose this object because I am so grateful to have accepting and supportive parents and I wish every trans kid got to have that. 

John-mateo H. | Transgender Man, He/Him 

I think a lot of trans men who tape will understand this one. Maybe I’m a slob, but the daily binding with tape, it adds up. Hopefully one day I can wake up and just throw on a shirt. Until then I’ll keep KT tape sellers in business. 

Sylvan V. | Genderfluid, He/They | 

When people complimented my appearance before, it always felt gross and wrong. They weren’t complimenting ME, just the flesh I had no control over. The first time I wore a suit, I got compliments, but they finally felt real. Right. They saw ME. This is the first tie clip I bought myself. It’s a reminder that I can dress for me and not for others. Ugly baby shin godzilla especially makes me happy because like me, people judged the early flesh before the true creature grew into something magnificent. 

A.D | Transgender Woman, She/Her | 

These two are Missy Dolphin and Daddy Dolphin. Daddy Dolphin is the much-beloved toy on the right, who I had for the first twelve or thirteen years of my life before my egg cracked, the decade or so it took me to come out, and the three and a half years since. He’s been with me through everything, and I consider him a part of me, in a lot of ways. Now, I’m a very sceptical person, and I don’t believe in fate so much, but when I was about a month into transitioning, I had some strange flashes of memories I couldn’t have had, where I’d grown up as a cis girl. It was the most precious gift I could have ever received, and I still don’t know why it happened. In those memories, I’d named my beloved bottlenose dolphin plush Missy Dolphin. So when I saw a toy, one that I’ve been looking for for years, of a dolphin plush on ebay last year, I knew I had to get her. She’s new, and she’s the same as him but she’s different, and I don’t know what she means to me, I’m still trying to figure that out. 

Anonymous | Trans-Masculine, He/Him, Its/It | 

An item that’s special to me as a trans person is the stuffed bear I’ve had since I was born. His name is Fraser and he has been with me through every stage of life: he’s seen me grow up and learn to be who I really am; he’s seen me during my highest and lowest moments – when i got my first binder and when i’d cry because i wished I’d been born a cisgender male instead; he’s seen me turn myself and my life into what they were always meant to be. Each step of my journey has been shared with him, and I remember where I started versus where I am now when I look at him. 

Avery V. | Trans Woman, She/Her | 

I realized I wasn’t cis in high school 18 months ago. I was super socially isolated, so I didn’t have anyone to tell. I was scared about how people would react-not that they’d be violent, but dismissive or weirded out. I’d survived high school thus far by telling myself that I’d have a second chance at “joining society” and I thought that being openly trans would ruin that second chance. That nobody could like me. But hiding myself felt so claustrophobic, so suffocating. So I started writing the phrase “I am Avery” on my left leg every morning with specifically this sharpie. It was a coping mechanism, a silent rebellion, but most importantly a reminder to myself not to forget who I was even if I wasn’t ready for the world to know. I kept doing that for about 9 months, before I eventually met a group of friends, trans & cis, in college and came out to them. I know now that I can be loved, I’m worthy, and the world isn’t always as evil as it seems. Today I keep the sharpie as a reminder to be true to myself, no matter how bad it gets. 

Lime | Transgender Woman, They/Them |

This is my green bow, an object that holds significance because it marks the time I finally decide to open up with confidence to my family that I am a transwoman of the LGBTQ+ community. I wore it with pride while I’d do makeup proudly in the mirror, let my cousin paint my nails and wear every cloth of femininity I could find to my desirable sense of fashion. As the reader must know, this green bow holds such an impact and a great representation to me because of how I abolished the thought of being discriminated for who I truly was; entering into the world of my gender dysphoria and would allow myself to explore all the possibilities in which I accept who I am. This is why this bow holds such importance to me, because it stories my escapism and makes me feel so much more free. It gave me the strength to structure myself and stand in front of judgement by those who see me as a joke, because at the end of the day this bow and my desire to bring out my femininity as a transwoman is who I am and who I’ll always be. 

Tobias B. | Male-Female Chimera, Intersex, He/They | 

Growing up, I didn’t know I was Tetragametic. I found myself reading the Animorphs books in middle school thanks to an anonymous book donor, and I immediately found a mirror of myself in the character Tobias. Tobias, born human, finds himself permanently trapped in the body of a hawk. As he battles with himself against losing his humanity, he also comes to terms with life as a different species. Likewise, I found myself trapped in a female-looking body, but was male on the inside, something that wasn’t explained until I was 28. Still, as a child, I felt that I understood Tobias in ways I couldn’t explain. When it came time to choose a new name to represent me, I chose Tobias, in honor of the character who gave me that level of understanding of myself. (And, it doesn’t hurt that the author of the series, K. A. Applegate, is a well-known trans community supporter.) 

Lucy | Non-Binary, Transfeminine | She/It |

I got the ring from a store on Etsy in August 2022, a few months after I had come out as trans as a way to show who I am. After it arrived, I made it into a necklace for more comfortable wearing and it’s been a staple of my jewelry since. I gave it a name, too: Diadem Heart.

Nowadays, I often wear Diadem Heart under my shirt when I go outside as a
reminder that no matter what goes on in the world, my trans-ness is something
that can never be taken from me, even if I sometimes have to hide it from the outside world.

Bree | Transgender Woman, She/They |

My Blahaj! Her name is Pearl and I got her recently to help with gender dysphoria, she’s honestly such a cutie and I love her so much.

Anonymous | Non-Binary, They/Them |

I’m nonbinary. Agender most likely. I was born in a local Bible belt, which was extremely hostile towards people like me, but I grew up to be a metalhead and punk, leftist, antifascist with an authority problem, and polytheistic pagan (Lokean) who practices Buddhism. I carry an archangel’s sigil to remind myself of where I came from, that I’ve already survived hell once, and if there’s another one coming, bring it: I’ll survive that one too. I’ve joked to my friends that I have no idea what my gender is, and that I probably used to be a biblically accurate angel before this. A googly eyed one. It’s also a reminder not to let Nazis and other bigots blaspheme deities’ names with their hatred and warmongering. Though, if the bigots turned out to be correct about their one true, cruel god, without a second thought I’d oppose him. I’d rather choose my pack: the LGBTQIA+ people,
the poor and the sick, the disabled and the homeless and other vulnerable minorities and misfits, than a monster unworthy of worship.

Nyx-Bea-Eden | Genderfae, She/They/It |

This makeup bag was given to me by a friend who I unfortunately lost
connection with. This item holds memories of him, how he helped me feel
more feminine by giving me this, and how we would help each other feel
comfortable in our own skin because we’re both trans 🙂

Jane | Transgender Woman, She/Her |

A flower charm. For me, it represents who I am on the inside. I started liking flowers a lot, ever since I realized my identity as a trans woman. I like to imagine myself as a floral princess. A girl who likes to
express herself with flowers and bouquets. Sometimes I wear this as a necklace. Flowers always bring me euphoria. They make me feel like the woman that I am. And this flower charm feels like it’s a part of my blooming, feminine personality.

Anonymous | Transgender Woman, She/Her |

This blue snail plush is merchandise from a German non-binary youtuber
by the name of maudado who always was a comfort person for me. It helps
and helps me through hard times and panic attacks. It is my companion.

Reagan | Transgender Woman, She/Her |

My new name tag was the first material piece of proof of my identity and the person that I was becoming. I used to wear my name tag low on my shirt and turned away, but now I wear it up high and proudly.