Back to School Advice LGBTQ+ Youth

Save & share this queer school survival guide!

We asked our It Gets Better family for back-to-school advice for LGBTQ+ youth, and boy, did you all deliver. Here are some of our favorite tips that you can bookmark, keep with you, write down on post its, add to your phone, or send along to a young person who might need them.

Here are some of our favs.

• “Trying to be like everyone else is never worth it if that’s not who you are.”

• “Finding your people and having strong advocates really helps make high school better.”

• “There will be people that don’t like you for it. It’s an unfortunate fact. Just do your best to distance yourself from them and find a queer circle you feel safe in, and it’ll be a hell of a lot easier.”

• “It’s okay to stand up for yourself to other students and to teachers.”

• “Join a GSA club! Not all of you can (I was once that kid that wanted to but was too scared of my Christian parents to go to that club). I’m currently in one in college. My promise is that it gets better, especially if you’re living under the roof of unsupportive parents. You’ll get older and someday you’ll live on your own, and you’ll find community.”

• “I just came out like straight away and super casually, so basically everyone knows and doesn’t really think about it.”

• “Staff and support teams may fail you. But having the right people and EXTERNAL support systems will literally save your life.”

• “Having a queer community or circle of friends to insulate you from harm is really important.”

• “Half of all oppression is self imposed. Yeah there are jerks who will mock and ridicule you, but that shouldn’t stop you from being yourself. If you think, ‘I don’t wanna dress like this because they will make fun of me,’ you are preemptively oppressing yourself before they even had a chance to shame you.”

• Being comfortable is always more important than making sure other people view you correctly.

• Be yourself but understand there wiil always be those who think there is something wrong with you. Don’t let them get you down. Their opinions mean nothing. Find like-minded friends and allies and keep them close.

• You belong here, you were made to be here, and all those who can’t see your rainbows, f*ck them.

• It’s okay and actually incredibly inspiring for this to *not* be

the best time of your life. It’s okay to enjoy it just as much as it’s okay to not, either way there’s AT LEAST one other person who feels the exact same way and one genuine relationship can matter more than 20 surface-level acquaintances.

• If you’re unable to present how you want/be out at school, make sure you have things to quell discomfort/dysphoria. If you’re trans, your comfort is also more important than passing.

• “I try to be obnoxiously myself the first few days of the year to repel people who wouldn’t vibe with me anyway (I have a ridiculously bright & heavy bunny hat covered in pins). Logic being, ‘If you can’t look past my outfit, I don’t want to deal with you socially on an individual level.'”

• “Don’t be afraid to approach other queer people, they can be a great lifeline and open to talk if they see your similarities.”

• “If you’re trans and have a name you want to use at school, go talk to your new teachers before class and let them know. During the first couple years of high school I went during open house and said, ‘Hey, my name is different in the system but I would like to go by x.'”

• “Own it. People will either accept you for who you are or won’t, so just be yourself. If you need advice and support, it’s out there and you definitely won’t be the only one, either at your school or going through the same experience in schools around the world. You have a right to be happy, free and have the same wonderful experiences as non-LGBTQ+ kids.”